Married to The Techie

Or... don't you just love him? Part Two - Video shenanigans, by Lucy F...

The Techie said he wanted us to make a video in the bedroom.

Now, I don't consider myself a prude but I do happen to think that what goes on in the inner sanctum shouldn't be a spectator sport; so when he bowls into the bathroom asking me if I'm 'ready for action', and then announces he has a redhead and a blonde in the car, I have to say I'm speechless. And not just a little bit concerned.

'Go on, nip into the bedroom,' he says, rather impatiently. 'And get stripping the sheets. See you in a mo.' But before I can ask: 'What on Earth's going on?' he's off downstairs again, whistling.

'Oh, I've rented them half price!' He shouts over his shoulder, 'the equipment, that is.'

Aha, it was starting to make sense. Sort of.

Some minutes later and he's staggering back past me, along the landing. 'She's a real beauty, eh?' he says with a lop-sided smile.

'Oh my Goodness!' I stutter. 'It's enormous! I'm not even sure I can hold its weight!'

'Meet my Redhead!' he exclaims, triumphantly. 'This is an 800 Watt light, isn't she great?' And then – 'I thought I asked you to strip the bed? Ah well, if you want something doing...' and with that he leans the thing against the wall and starts to peel the duvet from the mattress before removing the bed sheets.

He suddenly looks at me and all the years of marriage tell him my rather red face has nothing to do with the summer heat streaming through the windows.

'What's up with you?' He asks, a twinkle in his eye.

'And your 'Blonde' is...' I manage to say,'... this other massive bit of kit?'

At which point The Techie bursts out laughing, clearly more than a little pleased with his wind-up attempts. 'Yes! This other one is 2000W and as you guessed, it's referred to in the trade as a 'Blonde'. Both are lovely examples of open faced video lights.'

He goes on, happily: 'We're going to make some training videos for work.* And of course, our smashing green bed sheets are perfect!'

I'm in the dark again clearly in need of more information, so he explains (slowly, as if to a small child): 'We're using them because they're green and that means we can superimpose an appropriate background later on. You know, it's for Chroma Key.' He then proceeds to shake the sheets out. 'And, the bedroom is perfect. As you can see, I'm now clipping the sheets to the picture rails, and... Voila! We now have a film studio!'

I have to admit, the room does look pretty transformed.

'Now then,' he peers at me, 'before I go and get my Elephant's Foot, tell me, why exactly did your face go fifty shades of red?'

He's dead chuffed with his little pun, I can tell. And I do feel a bit silly but at the same time, it's nice to learn new stuff. And boy, do I get to learn something new most days, married to The Techie.

'Elephants foot?' I dread to think...

*Did you know that at Parcel Holders, we're now making videos to demonstrate and / or explain the important elements of the services we offer? We'll be calling them our 'Help!' videos and they'll cover subjects such as:

• How to register with Parcel Holders – why we ask for info like your URL
• How to add an Engineer and how to add Additional Users
• How to add a Consignment using the Book by Engineer Locations and Dynamic Booking by Job Location
• The Active Consignment List explained
• How to Connect a Supplier

You'll be able to view the videos on our website; we'll give you a 'heads up!' when they're ready. All you have to do is get the popcorn in.